Parish experiences wedding surge

By DAWN PROSSER
Director of Communications
 
In January, EWTN News reported a “major drop off” of nearly 60% of Catholic weddings celebrated in the United States in the last quarter century. In 1990 there were 498 weddings in the Diocese of Sioux City, dipping to 230 ceremonies in 2019. There was a slight increase in post-pandemic marriages in the diocese with an average of 258 weddings in the past five years.
 
At Cathedral Parish in Sioux City, the number of weddings has increased to the point where the parish had to rethink the schedule. Father David Esquiliano, pastor, said when he began his assignment in July 2019, the parish had numerous Saturday afternoons on the calendar but the number was manageable. After COVID, things really got busy.
 
“Normally, weddings are on Saturday and there’s just one, but there’s a limited number of Saturdays, especially at the Cathedral, we have other events that precludes us having weddings on a Saturday,” the priest said, noting there are three Saturday ordinations that will be celebrated at the Cathedral this summer.
 
Most couples prefer to have their wedding in the summer, and the parish’s “wedding season” generally runs from April to October. Due to the growing demand, the pastor opened up the option of offering Friday afternoons for weddings in order to accommodate the couples.
 
“We have 40 (scheduled weddings) yet this year. The first one is this Friday and another on Saturday,” he said, pointing out that every Friday and Saturday in August 2026 is booked with weddings. “From April to October we are pretty much busy every Saturday.”
 
In some cases, the parish schedules a wedding that doesn’t land on a Friday or Saturday.
 
“We also do weddings on weekdays if it’s a simple ceremony with a small group of people. We normally do that after an evening Mass,” Father Esquiliano said. “But most people want the whole thing with music and all of that.”
 
There are still dozens more couples preparing for marriage at the Cathedral Parish that haven’t scheduled a date or are booked for 2027 and even 2028.
 
Reaching out is key
The Cathedral Parish is the largest of the 37 parishes in the Diocese of Sioux City, and it continues to grow. Father Esquiliano said the average weekend Mass attendance has grown from 2,140 in 2022 to 3,012 to date in 2026. He said the Spanish Masses have the greatest growth from an average attendance of 1,426 in 2022 to 2,018 so far this year. The English Mass attendance continues to grow with an average total attendance of 474 in 2022 to a 703 average to date in 2026.
Parochial Vicar Father Travis Crotty blesses Garrett and Grace Lange. Photo courtesy of Nikayla and Co.Despite the healthy Mass attendance numbers, the pastor said there are other factors that have led to the jump in marriages. The four parish priests – Father Esquiliano and parochial vicars Father Travis Crotty, Father Andrew Galles and Father Jeremy Wind – each preach about marriage.  (Father Esquiliano, Father Crotty and Father Galles also have additional jobs with the diocese.)
 
“One of the things is that we priests encourage couples to get married,” the priest explained. “I as a pastor meet with the parents of children that we baptize. During that conversation, I ask point blank, ‘Are you married?’ If they say no, I encourage them to do it. There is no forcing, there is just an encouragement.”
 
As children prepare to receive their sacraments, especially first Communion, it’s the child who often encourages their parents to get married.
 
“The children ask their parents why they are not receiving Communion,” he said. “A lot of the time it is because they’re not married, so they work on that.”
 
At times, couples do not marry in the church due to misunderstandings or confusion about church teaching, especially if one or both parents have been married before. The priest tries to open the door to a conversation to assist them.
 
“Sometimes people don’t understand the process,” he said. “When we explain to people that we can work on that, we can try to see if your marriage was valid or not or we can help you get married. Having those conversations with people is important.”
 
Another opportunity to communicate with parents is through the parish religious education program which is family-oriented. Father Esquiliano meets with the parents once a month and becomes acquainted with many of them.
 
“I think some parents feel comfortable talking to a priest they already know as opposed to somebody who they may see at Mass once in a while,” he said of the opportunities to encounter parents.
 
Misunderstandings can occur with a Catholic planning to marry a non-Catholic or couples planning a ceremony at a site that is not a Catholic Church or at an outdoor venue.
 
“The non-Catholic in the couple may not realize that Catholics are required to marry in the Catholic Church or get a dispensation not to do so. They think, well, I’m marrying a Lutheran at the Lutheran Church and that’s it,” Father Esquiliano said. “This is why it is important that we priests preach it and have those conversations with people.”
 Garrett and Grace Lange wedding. Photo courtesy of Nikayla and  Co.In his weekly e-newsletter to the parishioners, the pastor often writes about marriage and encourages anyone considering marriage to talk to a priest and learn more. There is also a Q & A section on the parish website with answers to common questions at www.sccathedral.org/matrimony.
 
The process
Couples are encouraged to contact the parish nine to 12 months prior to the desired wedding date. Father Esquiliano said he is the first person that the couple would meet with.
 
“The initial intake is always with me just to have a single funnel to get the process going and someone who controls the calendar,” the pastor said. “Couples are allowed to choose the priest they want to work with if available on that day they want their wedding to take place. Then that priest is assigned. If they have no preference, I take them as one of my duties as pastor.”
 
As all four Cathedral priests are bilingual in English and Spanish, weddings are held in English, Spanish or bilingual, depending upon the couple and those attending the nuptials.
 
The future bride and groom meet with the assigned priest and is also assigned a sponsor couple from the parish. For simplicity, there is a single parish fee to cover all aspects of the preparation and ceremony.
 
“Our marriage prep includes, NFP (Natural Family Planning), FOCCUS, music, everything to make it easier for people,” Father Esquiliano explained, adding the Cathedral has an in-house bilingual NFP instructor to meet with couples.
 
The growth in attendance and participation in the sacraments gives the pastor great hope for a vibrant future of the church.
 
“We have over 150 baptisms a year and those of course are things that give me hope. I have nine baptisms this Saturday. Normally it’s in July and August that we have a lot,” he said. “We pretty much have baptisms three out of four weekends.”
 

Cover photo: Wedding of Garrett and Grace Lange at the Cathedral. Photos courtesy of Nikayla and Co.

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