Boone author casts hope upon shadows of grief

By LORI BERGLUND
Special to Lumen Media
 
            The road of grief is something that all must walk sooner or later. Having someone to guide the way a bit, to offer assurance when the night is long and the road is rocky, can lighten the burden until the sun shines brightly again.

            Grief has been a frequent companion in the life of Marvin Wilmes of Boone and Ascension Parish member. As a former journalist and writer, when grief came and hit him hard, he did the one most logical thing: put pen to paper mapping his journey and seeking to share the hope he has found along the way with others.

            The author of two previous books, Wilmes is set to release his latest work in March. Rising Beyond Hope: A Memoir of Grief, Loss and Faith is planned as the first in an Odyssey of Hope series, inspired by the just-concluded Jubilee Year of Hope.

            “It’s a tender, unflinching memoir that asks whether faith can be rebuilt after loss, and where a son learns to have the courage to carry his family’s cross,” Wilmes explained.

            A Missouri native and U.S. Marine Corps veteran, Wilmes learned the fragility of life at a very early age. He was just eight years old when his cousin drowned in Missouri’s Nodaway River.Wilmes/Submitted photo        

    “He was about a year older than me and it happened on the family farm,” Wilmes recalled. “We were out playing on the riverbank… it had a huge impact on me.”

            For children, understanding death, let alone coping with grief, can be a monumental task. And it’s often true that while adults are overwhelmed with their own grief at a child’s death, they may not see how it’s affecting other children.

            Wilmes has set to put that long-ago grief to work through his writing. To him, it’s clearly a vocation.

            “I feel this is where God has always set this on my heart,” he added. “He led me to unravel what grief and loss really mean”

            His first book, Beyond the Horizon: Crisis of Faith told the story of the 1963 drowning of his cousin and then moved forward through the pivotal years of the 1970s, when Wilmes faced more loss and eventually leaves college to enlist in the Marines.

            Wilmes would soon discover a passion for writing and would later build a career as a community journalist in Cherokee, as well as a broadcasting career in Kansas and New Mexico. He is now retired and has lived in Boone since 1999.

            “I really started my writing career after my cancer diagnosis,” Wilmes said. “I’m a 15-year bladder and prostate cancer survivor.”

            But it was when his mother was diagnosed with cancer in the 1980s that life really changed for him. The oldest of nine children, seven of his younger siblings were still at home when his mother’s illness hit, and Wilmes made the decision to leave his job in New Mexico to come home and help the family.

            “We made the decision for me to come home,” he recalled. “There were seven kids still under the roof and so I came home to help out.”

            His mother’s journey through illness and death would leave a lasting impression and serve as an inspiration for his next book.

            “A central part of this story is a crucifix that a priest had given my mother,” Wilmes explained. “She pinned it to her blouse, or anything that she wore, and she wore that crucifix the entire time she was ill. It was her witness until the end.”

            But what is grief — especially for a Christian — without hope? Wilmes seeks not to just share his own grief, but share how to find hope beyond the sadness that comes into every life.

            “What I hope readers will find in this book is how grace can reshape our vocations,” he said. “How faith can crack, and then be rebuilt. I hope that the book will instill hope in readers, because without hope we perish. There’s a lot of things going in the world, and we need hope.”

            His passion for walking with others through grief also extends to his volunteer work at Ascension Parish. The program generally begins shortly after Easter each spring.

            “I started a Grief Share program about three years ago,” he explained. “It’s a video-based, 13-week program and this will be our fourth year offering it.”
            To parishes that have tried to start a grief program without success, he said not to be discouraged if people don’t readily sign up. Catholics, who rely on faith, don’t always like to admit the impact that grief can have.

            “People will not sign up; they will show up,” he said. “We’ve had an average of about 12 to 15 people participating.”

            For more information about all of Wilmes’ books, visit his website at marvinwilmes.com. Most of his books are also available on Amazon. The latest, Rising Beyond Hope: A Memoir of Grief, Loss and Faith, will be available on both his website and Amazon by mid-March.
 
 
Lori Berglund is a freelance writer based in Dayton. She is a member of Holy Trinity Parish of Webster County.

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